insomnia my friend

I wish it was a friend that went away, I am so incredibly awake and I will paying for it in the morning afternoon whatever it will be when I finally wake up after finally go to sleep. Not that I have room as I look behind me I see Jacob splayed out like a murder victim with the cat and dog matching suit. I wish there was a bigger bed behind me.

I never like the idea of Jacob wanting a second job until now when we need the money so badly. It wouldn't be badly if we weren't paying for the wedding. I fill a little over my head and I think I may take my brother up on his offer for help my s.i.l keeps telling me thats what family is for. I still cant help but feel like a mooch. The overtime at work is gone, we are literally making the highest amount possible for both of us and yes its good money more money than we have ever made before but damn right now its hard. We weren't careful and some how I missed and electricity bill and holy shit I am paying for it Thursday, and we can bounce back yes we can bounce back. I think this would be easier if I could get Jacob to sit down and look at the cost. Maybe then he would be in just as big as a rush to rearrange finances and to pinch pennies to at least pay down some of the cost of the wedding. .

I am excited for the wedding well the ceremony, it makes my heart glow to think about the aisle and seeing his face as I walk down ( uh that is if remember to put my contacts in )  it just makes me happy really happy.. 

Ugh I have this thick grey streaks forming in my hair and I am not sure if I like them we will see damn stress its killing me I think.